Collette: Now 20x better!

It's come and it's passed and what I got out of it? Another year to add to my life. When I was younger I used to have a horrible time sleeping. To aid this I would make these wildly vivid " Day Dreams" if you will about my life than, and how I expected it to be soon after certain ages. 20 was one of those ages I just imagined myself being " happy" and with somebody at a good to okay job, and being in college almost nearing the end. Now...We all know life isn't perfect and things never turn out how we wanted them to, but for the most part...I'm not thaaat disappointed with where I am. Granted, I'm far from " perfectly happy" I'm settling into the idea that I'm not ahead of the goals I have...But not far behind. However, I was reading something that caught my eye yesterday. It was something about a " Life remodel" and how people could go about doing " Amazing" things with there lives with the mere; faith, trust, will, energy, for change. Do I posses these things? Sure...If I really put my mind to it, I could change what I don't like about myself...But could I really change? And than all that begs to ask another question...Am I in fact broken? Or just unconfident with who I already am? With out going into the awful details, I realized today that it's not that I don't posses the ability to flirt and actually have the " want" to be with somebody, but it's the idea that I will actually have to take time to be open, truthfully, and be those things not only to that person...But to myself also. Somehow, I've gotten myself into this post deeper than I first wanted to. I'm tired and I think I'm gunna head off to bed!