Away

Im so tired, I should be in bed! I got up this morning on the wrong side of my life and the day just went like that for the entire time. I'm driving to work and it starts...I just randomly started bawling. I couldn't stop for the life of me and all I could think of was how shitty I have felt for soo long and how I'm nearing not being able to keep it under control anymore. I wake up crying most times and am going to sleep in the same state. I sit at work and think about bad bad things and than come home only to eat eat eat. When I was a lot younger I used to think something was very wrong with me. Like I was broken and needed to be fixed. I started thinking that this was all from a very bad time from my childhood, but even though I would like to blame this on Those events and that person...I'm starting to wonder if it's not something more. No matter how I start that conversation I always end it or it gets ended before I even start