The yellow brick road

I often wonder if this is all worth it. I sit here in front of a nameless screen and tell it my life and in return I await some ultimate response from it's other faithful followers. It's an odd relationship but that's what I'm all about. In the real world I am just another nameless face in front of millions of others trying to be noticed.
I keep taking that lame deeper look as to why I am not happy and I am slowly realizing...How is anybody ever happy? Things always intervene into my world, crashing colliding, smashing and I am barley able to cope most of the time. So how can I look up, smile and say " Oh happy world, bring me peace?" There are simply times when I can not be expected to be happy. There seems to be a time and a place for my happiness, I just need to find it.
I don't want to go to work today. It's getting harder and harder to be who I want in that store. It constantly feels like people are pulling on me to sway me to be either one person or another. Maybe it's all in my head, but the words of a friend where to not let their world Jade me. I think that's in interesting enough look on that store. It's a battle field full of zombies and people who are happy being miserable. I don't want to end up one of these people who are fighting for the unhappiness of another person. I have been down this path, it's dark and scary, and I fear sometimes, that I'm lost.