Tabula Rasa

I've been a long believer in the idea that life is only what we make it. I don't know how I got these ideas and where I'll ever go with them, however...These are the ideas that get me into trouble. I was the odd kid who thought a lot about things and well I may admit it here...I will never actually speak about the times when I would find it more than satisfying than to sit and watch the world. I was young when I was first captivated by my own thoughts. The ideas that I could possibly possess lend me to many years in classes that never satisfied what I was truly wondering; Where do my thoughts come from? Are people built with all that they will ever be? Or are things built from the experiences they encounter? Or are those even the makings of a life that has been built?
psychologists call it " Tabula Rasa" which means " Clean slate". It is what John Locke who first named "life in which we create". He Believed that ALL knowledge (behavior) comes from EXPERIENCE. Thinking about this, we all limit our lives in some ways. Bound by what is right and what is accepted, we all learn to tell ourselves that life is one thing or another. Looking at it truthfully, and historically I've always guessed that life was the search for happiness. Gods, spirits, angels and things of the such, all lend towards this promise, " You will be happy eternally". There are those whom don't believe in such Gods, these are the people whom please themselves on other levels. We all strive for that job that will make us rich and thus happy. We all want that family that we believe will be perfect for us. This being true...Why have we lost sight in what we want? People live lives full of pain not ever thinking... Why? Why stay doing what I don't what to do when I can do what I really want and be truly happy? I live like such. I am imprisoned in the fear between being happy and being right. In a world that will kill you if you are different, I have always lived border to what I want and where I'm going. I live in such fear my life will be paralyzed never and only affected by time.