Retarded

Why am I still awake? Who knows anymore. My head wont let me have a moments peace. I keep talking to myself. Yes I am just bought that crazy! I need to get sleep soon or I won't get up tomorrow.....Shit! Now The idea of not sleeping at all has entered my head! Haha, it's 1am and I am still recovering from last nights.... " Hey stay awake until your check gets deposited" idea. I think Rosa called it the best, I Am SUCH a GEEK. A poor geek speaking of checks actually! I need to get a second job if I want to ever move out of this place! Which I really really do! I also want to pay off my car and than get some money saved up...Maybe that manicure and pedicure I had planned tomorrow isn't the best way to save money....hahahaha. I can't believe what girl I am tonight. I am sitting her gushing to myself about how cute this boy at work is thinking...Why am I like this? I never tell people about guys I like, Rosa...Once in a while, but that's it. I don't share it or tell people. I would deny it to the fullest extent if you ever asked me, but there have been plenty of people I have been interested in the past couple months or so. Maybe it's an extreme fear of rejection...Or maybe I'm just shy in that respect. I need to get out of my head! I'm over thinking everything! (..........I forgot what I was going to type...fuck......................................! Oh Yeah! hahaha) I was cashiering for a little bit today and there where this group of girls (3 or so) and they where all dressed up like they where ready to hit the bars. They where all chatty and gushing, but what caught my attention was that they where talkin bought this one girl who was " Soooo sad" because she hadn't had a boyfriend and she was " 23". I started thinkin, " Yeah, man, that is sad....." But than the thought came to me......In less than three years ill be 23 and I'll be that " Sad" girl...That's bad. Socially inept? Retarded? Lame? Broken? Shy? Don't care? Maybe one of those or all of them...But all I care....Is that I get some sleep in the next.....48 hours or so.