Either I'm a very lonely person, or I'm completely anti social

I'm realizing things in myself. Things like, when I get sick, I also get very depressed. Not to worry. I'll be fine, but there are things that I am slowly learning from this " Sickness".
1. Either I'm a very lonely person, or I'm completely anti social. People seem to love the idea of " Setting me up" with someone. My mom, my sister's, co-workers, friends, they all have somebody in mind for me. Sometimes the idea seems rather appealing...But than on other days, I just tell myself " No way!" Like I can't handle another person at this time. I carry enough of peoples problems at home and than hear about them all day at work, it just feels like I've even lost myself in the mix.
2. Why am I still siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick?
3. I haven't felt like myself in a very long time. Who I have felt like...I'm not sure. Maybe a cross between a bitch, and a overly emotional Girl.

4. My ideas, my thoughts, my life, it feels like things are shut down and running on back up generators. When will it stop?

5. Things have progressively gone from bad, to worse, to " I can't take this much longer", to " I'm running away from home to Japan" than to " Fuck it! I can't wait to save the money for Japan because I hate It here so much I'm going to live In Japan town in New York", to " Know any good bridges?"

6. I used to think that my problem was not talking things out with people, but now I realize...I just want to keep my mouth shut because it's less talking I actually have to do with other people and that to me, is a good thing.