What makes me...me

It's so easy for us to blame others. We find it in a second nature to put blame or cause on others because to blame ourselves, we would first have to admit we are not perfect.

Is it that we are just running out of real things to talk about so we turn to talking about other people?

I'm watching extreme makeover and this girl is 25 and she has never been kissed. In one thought, I can say to myself, " Poor girl! She got the bottom of the deck there!" and in another way I keep asking myself how anybody could be so critical, so hateful of what they look like? Why is this so important!? Not only critical of how she looks...by why are people so critical of how everybody looks!? Maybe this is the problem... We all think everybody is critical of what we look like, so we are hard on ourselves, thus being hard on everybody else. It's a viscous cycle and yet the answer can be so simple! When did you last look at yourself and say " I'm beautiful!" When did you last stop yourself from being so critical about another person?

I feel the understanding of appearance all the time. Partially words and thoughts I'm placing in others mouths, but as a person who spends their time reading people and how they react to situations, you learn how you and others are treated based on your psychical dynamics. I grew up being one of these demons who fed off this cycle. I would wake up, being 10-11-13 years old, and praying to see anybody but myself in the mirror in the morning. I used to dream of the day that I would announce that I was not really fat at all! My whole life was a experiment that my family and I underwent to discover what it was to live in a body of a fat person. I would reenact the day when the bully would come after me and I would rip my fat suit off in some heroic act, wind blowing, golden lights shining and I would be beautiful and I would have no worry about what others thought because, the shame was now on their shoulder's. This however never happened. I would go to school, and I would find kids that where uglier then me and thank the heaven's I wasn't one of them.

The thing is...I have ripped off that fat suit! I'm not a word anymore! I guess it's more like a feeling! I'm what I am every morning when I wake up and know that I have a family that is healthy and loves me. I am what I feel for my friends who mean the world to me. I am what I have always wanted to be true of this world...No longer a word, a noun for what a person is, yet a feeling that defines me as a whole. This is my hope...that we all learn to love a person in a "feeling" at least once in our life. Remind somebody of this because we all seem to get a case of " If i just changed..." In fact....tell somebody what you really think today. Why don't we tell people what we really think ever?