Rainy

ummmm, I'm rained in. Can't get to work. The freeway is closed. My street is closed. The cops wont let me leave. Lol, Im like a kid finding out school is closed! But then I remember that I cant get out to see Robert either! Fuck!

More Later, I'm sleepy!

Today it's raining, tomorrow it's gunna rain, it's been a week since it wasn't raining and It will be another week until it stops. I feel wet all the time and there's a since of depression thought the culture of Sonoma, Marin and Napa county's. There is a fear I hold, because I am now part of the commuter world, that I am going to hydro plane into a car and flip both of us. On my way home with Robert I nearly slid off the road into a wall twice. What really made my heart jump a beat was how my car began to slide sideways and as I begin to lose more and more control my heart begin to sink just a bit lower into my chest. I hate the feeling that I could hurt not only myself but those around me. I Hate the rain!

This is something that im sure your going to get tired of but it's more of for me then you, okay?

This years New Year's resolutions!
1. Loose weight: I always say it, I always wonder if it will happen, always wish it would and always wonder Why I don't.

2. Spend more time with my family: I will remember later why this is never a good idea, but until then, just saying it makes me feel better! hahahaha

3. BE ONTIME: yes, Robert knows as well does my previous employer, I need to get real on this and I believe this will be my biggest focus this year.

4. Be true: I will work on becoming more honest with my friends and family and even in my relationships.

5. Less Fighting: I will stop becoming argumentative.

Merry Christmas!

“My fellow Americans, let’s be thankful for global warming, because as these winter months approach, it makes the world such a nice, toasty place.

“Let’s be thankful to Brownie for doing such a good job, even if he doesn’t have it anymore.

“Let’s be thankful that we live in a place like America and not in a place like China where the doors are really tricky to open.

“Let’s be thankful that even though my approval numbers are falling, they’re still higher than my grades at Yale.

“Let’s be thankful for Sony PlayStation Portable, which really helps you get through those long Cabinet meetings when they’re going on and on about the economy.

“Let’s be thankful that the year’s almost over and I’ve managed to avoid talking to Cindy Sheehan.

“Let’s be thankful that John Kerry waited until a year after the election to start saying smart things about Iraq.

“Let’s be thankful to Rep. “Mean Jean” Schmidt (R-Ohio) for saying, ‘Cowards cut and run, but the brave serve in the Alabama National Guard.’

“Let’s be thankful that in nine months it will be August and then I can go on summer vacation again.

“Let’s be thankful that we have such courageous men and women working at the CIA, and that we all know their names.

“And finally, my fellow Americans, let’s be thankful that, even though we still haven’t brought Osama bin Laden to justice, we did finally get Robert Blake.”

Perma Smile

As of late....Almost every moment I have is spent with Robert or at Gap.
Two things that are making me smile permanently right now?
1. I have a good job! I get paid good, I am happy and I'm learning a lot!
2. Walking into Roberts well he has classical music full blast watching him conduct as I cooked and drank sweet wine.


And on a final note...I've quit smoking! It's been like a month!

Through the Looking glass....

Unwanted

Your unwanted
Your rolling eyes
Loud dermatic sighs
Lame requests
You seem to me to be LAME at best
That's it and all I can say
Just go.....go far away!

Making the right

First things first...Where is hedge? Long time no comment my friend? Where is your witty releasing humor?

After that I think it's time to update on work. Work has been pretty good. Well, actually, it's been slowly getting a lot better then It was when I first started. Things are picking up in pace and I can see myself making noticeable progress. Something that has changed is that Robert quit Target and started working with me again.

Right now I just need so much guidance in my life I don't know where to even begin! Love, friendship, work, school...Tell me! I have no idea. I like making the advice, but taking it is something totally different.

Help

I feel fat and I feel left out and I feel cheated. Help.

Broke-n

Life is a little bitter tasting at this moment. The lack of money and funds for things I must have, are hurting my day to day life. I now even dream about not having money. It hurts that im so unable to provide for myself but it also makes me angry. When I got fired, I realized two things, 1. This is the biggest mistake this women is making in her relatively new and short carrier. And 2. There are so many more that are still there that have " More attendance Issues" than I. So me being a little resentful thinks all the time about how her mistake has made such a dent in my life. I wondered, maybe once or so if I'll ever be able to financially recover. This only thinking of the awful hit my credit has taken in the last month. I hate this feeling, It's hopelessness and helplessness. It's LAME.

A Life at that

I'm living in what months ago I had professed as a " A life long Lived". This life Lived as it is, short and supple, has proven to be nothing short of anything. I'm young, childish and what some may call restless.

In all my living I have come be...Ashamed if you will of my own "Discontent". Knowing no open road, I seem to wonder aimlessly among those that have paved their own before me. This world knows no shortage of dreamers. To me, there are only two kinds of people when speaking on this subject: Those who dream and follow their mystic's to amazing heights, in other words, the successful, and then there are those who just can't figure their wayward dreams to paper. I, like many others, have plenty of dreams, plenty of hopes and wishes, but pinning them down is sometimes more difficult then what it sounds.

I'm in a restless mood. I'm in a restless life. Living has become an adventure on it's own. Those of us whom live with this ocean spinning and turning within, we all know to well that life is nothing set, nothing permanent and we all learn to live with that of not living.

My long winded and lame point to this cryptic story is that of a happier note then that of what has been purveyed: I am restless, not dead, not unliving, not without goals and heartache. I want to become something with someone, somewhere sometime, will my tides allow me such liberties? Will I become untied from within?

Restlessness is discontent and discontent is the first necessity of
progress. Show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I will show you a failure.
Thomas A. Edison