Not again

I hate valentines day.
I HATE valentines day.
I always have and I believe I am destin to feel that same way for the rest of my life
All I want is romance.
I want that dirty, staring deep into my eyes, telling me I'm wonderful and he's happy to be with me stuff.
He doesn't tell me I am pretty anymore. He doesn't tell me he's happy he's meet me anymore. He doesn't compliment me at all. I do the girl thing, say how ugly I am to fish a compliment out of him. However...it's not the same. It makes me cry late at night in the girly way I never would admit to anybody in person. I care about him. I make sure he has something to eat for lunch. I make sure that he is supported and feels wanted. I make sure to tell him how great he looks and how attracted to him I am.
I feel lonely.
I told him I didn't like valentines day. I was secretly hoping he would say " Not this year!" however he didn't. He told me that he broke up with his infamous ex the day before Valentines.

In his garage he had painted a murel with an ode to love. Her name in big red letters, hearts, and the words " I love ______" all over the place. He then very thinly painted it over in white paint and it's still completely noticeable. I can't get it out of my head.

I can't think of going through the pain of another failure of a Valentines day. This year I'm going to just stay home.

I hate this holiday