Returned

It makes a thump of sorts as it drops to through my chest, making it's way past my blackening lungs through the thining curves of my hips down to the very back dark pit where I push my noticable tears to, where I hide my fear and where butterflys run wild. This is what it feels like to be alone. This is the feeling that everytime I think about it, I swear I will never experience again. When my heart settled to the very bottem of my stomach today I realized that... this is not something I won't be able to walk away from this time. I feel like anything I ever cared about is hopelessly gone. My friends.....the people I used to be friends with...they walked away. I look at my phone calls and realize...the last time somebody JUST called to....say hi.....months. Lots of people calling me back..returning my plees for contact. There are so many who have walked in and out of my life. I miss them. He walked away so easy. My heart feels like its broken in a million peices. He was my best friend. I really got along with him. And he walked away. She, she woke up. It's never going to be the same...