pictures

Robert Mouse

Kaden and Me, my newest nephew

Tired

It's hot outside! And I am soo very very tired! I'm ready to pass out from working to much. I worked 18 hours on Thursday and 11 on Friday than that makes about 50 hours or so than im going in today. Damn me agreeing to do things for people!

Luck!

My room has gotten to a sick amount of Dirty! I'm crawling over mountains of clothing or other things, Maybe....I should clean a little!? Whatever!

I was thinking today about the things that have been installed in me from my childhood. Tbings like cleaning, thinking, feelings. It really made an impact on me when I realized that most people DON'T have a floor covering of Target shirts and jean jackets. When did my world turn from natural habits to that of a hermit? What I think plays a large role is that I clean at work all day, than by the time I finely make it home, all I can think of is slacking off. I don't want to come home and clean up after myself. The only thing stopping me ( Besides money LOL) from hiring a maid is that I feel to bad for making somebody else work because that's I'll I do..Clean up after other lazy people. I'm done though, I need to pick up my own slack, maybe it will prepare me better for that time when I actually might have to share my space with somebody else.

Tomorrow I have an early meeting at work but my plans start earlier than that! I want to get there so I can make sure I start stuff up right in the Lab because tomorrow we will be open for the first time to the public and I already have tons of work to do because of our training week in which we accepted film from team members for free and we got blasted with tons of requests! Aww well, time for some cleaning! Wish me luck!

Out of Out

Back to school bitches! It's that time of the year where college students alike all jam into that tiny campus parking lot, some smoking, some drinking, all gathered with one common dream in mind..." This is my way out" When do I find my way out...Of my way out?

He was sleeping with a smile...

I can't sleep. Maybe it's because school starts tomorrow...Is it lame to admit I'm nervous about going back? Lol, I've " started" school so many times, I should be used to it! What I'll never get used to is the Idea that I'm actually making something of myself. I seen some kids from my Graduating class today. They where applying for jobs at my store...I looked at their applications, ( Because I can!) And I realized....These where some of the smartest kids I know in School. They where the people you envied because they where the smart kids that could still balance being cool and good grades and here I am, Looking at their application, thinking of how I'm making 2x what they are and how in some cosmic evil kinda way, it's only fair! Ah well, I have my plans for tomorrow to make things easier. First I actually have to stop by work and work for like two hours. That's where ( Because they are now in store!) I will pick up my starbucks and make my way to Class. Than after that nice hour.5 I will go BACK to work and be there until 8.

I really really wish I could sleep! I originally feel asleep at the boys house. He was passed out and was talking up a storm...I do believe he was having quite a good dream by the way! Anyways, I feel asleep there, than for some reason I woke up around 2 and couldn't go back to sleep. OH! Maybe it has something to do with him making me watch E.T. which is my all time scariest movie! We rented it with him thinking he'll help me conquer my fears...I think he just enjoys making fun of me, He pointed it out to not only people from work, but than the guy at the movie rental place! Lol, aww, that's why I like him though. So we make it half way through that, both him and I half passing out, so I didn't even have to make it to the scary ass ending part!
HA! He said I had to watch it...He never said ALL of it! ;) So I get up around 2:30am, thinking I might as well come home to a) Beat my dad who gets home at 3 and thus avoiding any and all awkward times of me walking in at 3am well he sits in the livingroom watching sports TV. And b) Maybe my own bed will aid in putting me to sleep. Oh how fucking wrong I was! I think the trip from his place to my own woke me up even more than wanted and now I am irreversibly Awake! Hmmm, starbucks does open...Now!

Running away from friends

This bored again, this time of the evening when I take the time to reflect back on my sad sad existence as a lonely retail supervisor. LOL for sure, joking only 75%. There are about a million things that I need to take care of right now, instead, I'm sitting here in my penguin pj pants looking at lame pictures of myself and watching somewhat interesting documentaries...LOL. I need a life for sure!

The Grizzley

I like to call it the roller coaster. I never did like roller coasters, everybody knows that about me. So...Why am I here, getting pulled is twists and loops, my head one way, my stomach another? Where's the emergency stop switch? And who's going to hit it for me?

Frisco!

I don't usually sleep so well, but last night was an exception. As soon as my face hit the pillow I was G-O-N-E. Robert and I spent the day in San Francisco. We strolled down the piers and shopped a little. My favorite part of The City is the people. It always feels like there's somebody even newer than you are. Languages I don't recognize and outfits from far away. Everybody is watching everybody else and it seems amazing for how much others paint the world as a heartless place, that they all seem to work together in a quiet mob of shopping madness. LOL

here's Robert waiting for the boat, you don't even want to see my pictures! Can we say sun burn?

It doesn't even Look Like me anymore!

The Haircut did it to me

Everything isn't that normal cut and dry as I like it. You ever repeat something your not sure of to another person, in hopes they will say what you really want them to say back to you? " This really looks bad hugh?" you want them to say " No!" you want them to shout no. You want them to grab you and make you believe that it's perfect and not to change a thing, but they don't. They agree. This all should make me more happy in the idea that I am human and I know my own short comings, but sometimes I still fall short of saying what I truly want. How much do we loose by saying what we don't want to say? By saying what we shouldn't say? Saying what we want to say? By saying what we should of said last week? Yesterday? Last Year? Another retarded question I already know the answer to, that I just had to ask for...Never mind...

So I have been In Napa all week, training for photo lab. It's about an hour drive and most of it is through vineyards. Whilst I'm almost immune to seeing them anymore, I never realized what it would be like to not have them blanketed around you at all times. They just have always kinda been there since I was a kid...Leaving California would be weird...But I wonder what is the staple in other States, What is to Ohio as vineyards are to California?





Me in all my plainness. I'm soo fucking sick as of now. This is right before I went to the doctors, in which they said " It could be the flu...But it could be something else!!!" So after a couple tests and some labs, I might be as good as new! LOL. I had to leave work early because I kept throwing up, It wasn't pretty at all. They weren't going to let me leave at first, So when I know I was going to throw up again, I did it in the bathrooms next to their office and maybe I tossed a little bit more hacking than was necessary in there for effect. Sure enough, I got out of there!




And who knows what's going on with my phone, because this picture is very...back & white/ Color. Cool, but not normal.



...................Yes, So that concludes my cam whoring Of this evening. Im sick, and bored off my ass. I can't sit in bed for much longer!

I want a slurpie!

Maybe If I wasn't sooo sick, it would effect me a little more. A little short lived, but other than that it was ok. I do however think I enjoy being single a little more than being coupled. Owing feelings and responsibilities to other people just doesn't feel right. LOL, Single forever, LOVE IT!