I'm a lame softy like that

I just couldn't find it in myself to come home tonight. It feels like a need to BE somewhere, to GO somewhere. It leaves me pulling the wheel back, right before I have to make that turn to my street. There's me, flipping through my cds trying to find the perfect song to name the odd feeling that I have created, than there's me arguing with myself on wither or not I should try to call an old friend or if I could bring myself to go buy a pack of cigarettes for the first time in 7 years. Things at work seem to be going right for the first time in a LOOOONNG time. So what is it? You tell me. I can't put my thumb on it, it's just a feeling of being tired. I'm just so tired of feeling anything I guess. Im on emotional over load. Too much being sad, to much being happy, to much listening to everybody cry, being the shoulder to cry on, being yelled at being laughed with, being talked to, being scolded, being there in general. I don't want people to go away, I just want to go away myself. I know when and if I do get away for a little bit...It will all just be there for me when I get back. The worse part is that when I get back it will be double and people will be raw from not being " Delt with" for the whole time I was gone. Is it really worth all the truble to leave in the first place? All I'll think about when I'm gone is the people I'm missing anywaz...I'm a lame softy like that.