Ouch. My pride kinda hurts. I guess i dont have friends in low or high places. I have a friend named rosa...and yep, that bought sums it up. Thats good enough though. She makes up for the others i dont have. Rosa's like 3 friends in one. Kinda like purt-plus, very useful.

I am strange indeed. Driving home from class I find myself with the biggest smile one could get. With all the windows down in my car and the radio up as high as I could bare I sang my hart out. Words to what I do not know and songs to which I have memorized, I sang my little hart content. If you know me well you know that singing is NOT one thing that I can do...do well that is. Yet there I was, blasting my hart out to maroon 5 and Hot Hot Heat. Tonight I am happy. I am beaming rather, and for some reason, the world can do no wrong today. My birthday being behind me, I am looking forward to actually going back to work tomorrow. I get to work the food court, but there is no real negative to that. I'm beginning to be the next 5 star (*****) chef Boyardee!

Killer starfish where at the top of my list yesterday! As a child it seems that my wonderful sense of wonder was cut short by my sisters chasing me down the beach with puckered starfish. They told me that if they caught me, they would stick the starfish on my face and it would be stuck on me forever! And if that wasn't fun enough they had to add that it would soon start to suck my blood and I would shrivel up and turn into a starfish myself. Haha, so killer starfish indeed! But rather what happened on this trip was much more of a metaphorical matter. Unfortunately that's where I lead myself most often...And so I digress.
Today in English we where discussing "how to write a short story". The teacher described the moment in the story when the character meets his or her challenge. With running the risk of not using his exact words I'll explain what intrigued me so: We all use a mask to make it through the day. We all put on this different face to become manageable to the outside world; there is a way we are around our parents, our family and such. It's when we confuse our mask for our face that we are truly lost. The professor gives the wonderful image of a moment when the character is pulled into what he thinks is his or her normal routine only to be smashed into a setting what they don't understand and in which the mask is pulled away from their face and in one swift move, let go and as it smacks the character the story truly begins to unravel. The beach, the starfish, I have a very elaborate mask. What to do...What to do...

Iiiii'm Back! And I have sand in my everywhere. I am currently making a extra bad kind of cassadia

So right about now I should be packing my bags into my car and calling Rosa and Heath to see if they are getting ready! But I'm not, I'm here. As usual I feel the long gap I have had between now and the last time I actually blogged something good enough to note. So that's what brings me here. I'm totally psyced out seeing as in little as 3 hours I shall be spread out on a nice beach blanked munching down on some great sandwiches and sucking some lamonaid. Yep, that's right! We down here at Collections are taking a vacation! This shall be a one of a kind vacation! Tomorrow is going to be my birthday and it shall be the 4th such year that I have included the beach into it. But this year I will be camping there all night with Rosa and Heah whom have never been camping! HAha, man, when I heard that, I almost died, Who never goes camping? In my family that would of never of been spoken. We are creatures of habit and we love our camping! What's really funny is that in our camping trips...Something ALWAYS happens. Let's just home that's not the case today okay! I really hope it's not that my sister goes into labor. Haha, I can see it now, Just as I get the tent up and streached out the phone will ring and Off I will rush! It will be all okay, because either way I will win, camping...Plus, Baby, Major plus. Okay, packing time, ill talk to you all later.

Only two things to note at this time:
1. You know your in college when you are put in a research group and the suggested meeting place to start this research is...a bar. Haha, I loved the part where this guy goes: Well...umm, im not really 21 so you all can drink and ill just watch...than i speak: Im only 18... After the " holy shits" we figure im proboly the youngest person in the class.
2. I get to sleep in tomorrow. Maybey I'll go for a swim. Haha, nice!
That is all.

I was thinking today, it must take an extremely strong person to be able to be rude to another person. You have to have an authority to be the " informer" to another person. God forbid that I have worked at Target for 2 years! But truly, I work retail, I HAVE to be some retarded lame poor outcast because if not I would have a " Real" job where I actually work hard! There is this place apparently where people go out and get all the info as to what I need to be doing in my job, they are all trained way better than I will ever be. I for some reason, am out to get you all! I want you all to get shit deals and getting you in it deep because it's all that I live for in life okay? Do you really think about it? When you tell me I am " Fucking ridiculous" Or " stupid ass little girl" You than imply that I am nothing to nobody, I am a cheating bitch. Do you ever stand to check yourself? I am just some girl, trying to help you...I can't do that if your not willing to help yourself!

Im soo tired! Maybe it's the fact that I have been running all over the place today! The whole Idea of me only getting about 1 hour of sleep last night might of hurt a little also! So what did I do? Rosa and I went out to the beach...But not before I went to IKEA with my mom and my sister. Once at the beach though... It was amazing. I didn't go to classes today. I just gave up on the idea of getting out of bed, and went back to trying to imagine myself 100 other places. But rather than JUST going to the beach, I went to the Russian river right after with Rosa and another pal, Heath. We had tons of fun. But now...I just don't feel it anymore. There is...Something going on. Besides me being emotional, I just keep watching this something and it just hit me. I am sitting here crying like a small lost child. There is a something that's been spread all over the news all week and it's spreading still. It's something that has happened to a family member of one of my best pals. It's something gruesome and sick. What is really frightening is that it's something that I have always freaked out about. Think about being completely helpless. Than think about not ever seeing your family again. And than think about what your family must go through. Your family is sitting there writhing in worry and confusion...But what can you do? I'm going to bed. Night.

IM A HORRIBLE PERSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!