This fat cow isn't going to try again!

Here's my question, am I so stupid, soo boring, and unbelievably ugly that I don't deserve to even be spoken to? This guy! Lol, asks ME out, HE makes plans, HE asks me on a 3rd date...and then he doesn't call, in fact, he never calls, not even to say sorry. He doesn't call to say sorry, he doesn't call to say I'm not interested, he doesn't email, or text even!? WTF lol. So this would be okay, if it wasn't the second time that a guy has done this. The whole..." I'm to scared to tell you the truth" act is REALLY old! If I wasn't interested, or maybe something came up with an ex, I would AT LEAST tell the other person, no matter how many dates we had or hadn't been on. It's just the nice thing to do! What happened to manners people? Or is it that I am...freaky? Is that what it is? Am I soo ugly, soo repulsive? Sooooooo annoying and boring that people can't stand me?

I usually don't feel too down on myself, but now, I'm feeling like the fattest, ugliest, nastiest, disgusting, lowest person on earth.

It's not even about him not liking me, it's about...being treated like the subhuman scum that you have to cringe as you pass on the street.

I was happy before he came up and ripped up my routine. I was doing JUST fine! I in fact, DIDN'T even want to go on the first date! But I thought to myself...he's a normal, nice guy, why not? At least I'll be making a new friend. I laugh at my abilities to judge people correctly at this point.

Lastly, I ask this...when do I stop waiting on an answer from him? I caution you at this point! Don't mistake me wanting to hear from him with me being clingy, wanting, to be with him, it is more in fact, a plea for normal, considerate treatment from a person whom I thought was actually pretty cool. So now, every time my messenger chimes, or I get a new email, I hold my breath, thinking "maybe he finally got the courage to own up!" And only a super microscopic, tiny, itty bitty piece of me is hoping he has a completely reasonable answer; Which the probability of is shrinking every day.

I will say this...
I forgot what it was like to have somebody to talk to. I forgot what it was like having a friend. I have friends...but they have their own lives. I'm pretty much the only person left who isn't married, has a kid, or has a significant other. I don't even know where my cell phone is anymore. I do laundry once every month because...well, I don't go anywhere, or see anybody. If I didn't live with my parents, I wouldn't see people at all.

I'm alone again. Kinda sucks.