Hypnotic

I realize, things, events, emotions, set in motion years ago, are erupting into my life today. I'm happy with where I have found myself. I stopped by Gap today. Just to say Hi. See how things where going. I miss it. I miss dancing in the middle of the floor with John. I miss folding entire floors and being able to admire my hardwork in it's emedite visual impression. I miss coming home tired after a day of running around and yet...I dont. I think my problem or my blessing in my eyes, is that I am constantly AMAZED by the world around me. Everything in this world is sparkeling. From the same morning lived every day for 22 years to the new life lost in unrealistic terms. I am constantly stunned by the uglyness of perfection and lost in the hypnotic tunes of faliure. What is it that makes my life so diffrent then yours? Why am I so ready to experience every day like it was my last? When did this happen? I'm going to take a friend to get drink now. And we are going to be suprising another friend at her work where she always begs us to come visit and if i where to die on my way to see her. I would die happy. I would die knowing, I am doing something that makes me smile and makes others happy. This is excatly how I want to life my life.