This post started out good...but I got distracted twords the end

It creeps up, sneaks in, finds that hole in your life, whispers sweet everything to you and right when you think you have it....you don't. That's the cycle that life lives for me and when I think I understand, it's the time I am most confused. I'm aching for something to care about. Something, someone, or just something I can pour my soul back into. It used to be my photography that I cared for so much. It was a passion for me. Knowing that I was showing everybody, making them understand what It was like (FINALLY) to see things through my eyes. It was invigorating! I then got a promotion at work, everything I thought I was...I then was. Photography fell second to the world of management. I messed up and made the mistakes that I should of as a 18 year old but not that of a manager and lost that. School came and went and I told myself over and over, I'll never have the money it takes to be what I want to be, and that in the time I can go to school to be what I want, I will have wasted my life and sacrificed all that I really wanted which is...a life worth living. What is it I take for granted now? A family that believes in me. Friends that make me laugh. A young age, something that I forget once in a while. I'm 21, I was only a teenager 3 years ago. I have a lot to learn. I for some reason want a plan, a route pinned out knowing where exactly I need to go. Why do we do that as adults. We want to be able to say, this is where I should be and this is how far I am. We enjoy the idea that we can be better then others just based on our own opinions. Ex. In my opinion, I should be graduating college and have a career earmarked at this time. Anybody older then me, who has not achieved this...is worse then me, and anybody better, is my boss. Come on people, we all are living here by my standards! Live up to em! I am all mighty!