Post #504

There are few and less reasons as to why I have been forgetful in posting lately. One of them being as usual, work. Second, I've been trying to get things in order to move out. In wich I have and am now spending my second night in my new apartment. It's fun, completely scary and a little boring. Even though all that sounds fun and dandy I also am re-learning my singlehood. Boyfriend and I broke up about a week ago and regardless how I feel about it, I'm still adapting to not having him there. There as in my mind, there as in my car, in my new apartment, on my phone, at dinner, in the mall, in my arms...It's really hard to quite cold turkey something you have had for 7 months. It's also hard realizing as I am this very second that I left home, the place where I've lived for 21 years. I'm gunna miss hearing the kids every morning, my mom every night, my dad in the afternoon...It was stability and now everything I have is in limbo, on me. I don't like this choking feeling. When I started this weblog I told myself I wanted to be honest and I need to remember to try to achieve that. I miss my home, I miss my family, I miss my boyfriend and I miss being sure of things. I fought way to much with the boy...Why was that? It's not the unhappy times I remember and trying to think of them, I can't. I'm sure I might if I was given time or examples...But right now, all I can remember is waking up next to him brushing my face with his hand, or our first awkward date or how he makes that face when he thinks I'm not looking...I need to get over it. We arrant in love.

Second of all, Hello it's fucking cold in this bitch!