beliefs of beauty?

I have the Bi-polar self image I guess. Some Day's, I don't understand such a silly concept. Who cares how I wear the hair? It's just something there to keep my head warm. My cloths? Also just another formality to which I owe society ( Not to say if given the option I would strip, I indeed would not!). It amazes me how people can base who I am, on what I look like. She's wearing blue jeans! That must mean she's a bad person...Because those are out of fashion!
Yet like I said...There's two sides to this whole idea. I do hate being consumed in the idea of " My Image" but I am. I sit at work all day where I'm surrounded by people who openly admit that they make way more money than they should for what they are doing * which (Because I'm a bitch) I often openly agree with them. These people are people who believe hard labor is changing the toner in the fax machine and that I must do it because they " Could just never figure out such a silly contraption". Working hard to me is getting the job done at any cost, If I break a nail...First I would wonder where I got said nail considering I don't have any, and than I would get over it because you can't really lift 50lbs boxes with claws coming off your hand. These people sit in the office ordering shoes out of catalogs because " Have you ever seen the inside of the mall!" and complement me on " Looking better" than yesterday. So I don't do my hair before I come to work! So it's washed, clean and out of my face! What more can you ask for? I'm a simple kind of person! Where it gets me is when I begin to become involved in this sick ritual! I take one look at myself and think..." What the hell am I doing? I look like trash!" It's a sick feeling to live as if one wasn't good enough for the " In" Crowed...But than there are those who subscribe to the idea that there is only a " Cool crowed" in the minds of those who must belong. Where do I belong? Am I over analyzing things as I often do? Or is it really that we must " Subscribe" to the same beliefs of beauty?