I smell

I hate having to do stuff...I'd rather not do. Well...that was very well said collette...don't we all!

Photowhat?

Haha, I haven't posted in a real long time. It feels like I've been at work for the entire week. I might as well start to camp there seeing as I never get to stay home as often as I used to. I'm setteling well into my new position. I get to go out of the store for official training next week and am very excited about that. All in all...Nothing new as of yet. OMG! I lie! Today I got a completely un-official offer to move to another part of the store...Not even part of the store come to think of it...It's for a independent contractor and I would be a manger making $4 more than I already do now...Guaranteed 40hr! NICE! I could total move out on that...Well...Maybe, at least pay off my car and get some shit rolling that I have wanted to for some time now. Like...MOVE OUT. Hahahahah....hahahahaha...hahahahahahaha

Forgetting

I haven't gotten a comment in ages. Just to let you all know. I'm feeling a little unloved. We already know hedge is gone forever but what happened to all my friends...Oh yeah! I don't have any! Ha, forgot!

Funnies

Which prescription drug is best for you? Stratera You can't sit still or pay attention to things long. Either that or you are overweight and want to suppress your appetite with Stratera.

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What 80`s movie are you? Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure

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lol

I AM 47% ASSHOLE/BITCH! I may think I am an asshole or a bitch, but the truth is I am a good person at heart. Yeah sure, I can have a mean streak in me, but most of the people I meet like me. Take the ASSHOLE/BITCH test at Fuali.com

Psych1a Math150a and life 101

I have to make this post quick! I've been home alone for the past weekend and now that my parents are back...The place is trashed and as soon as my mom gets home my ass is going to be busted! LOL, So here I am, speed typing trying to remember all the things that happened today. I went back to school, by now I guess you could call me a sophomore in College and that makes me not even happy but proud. Proud that I have made it way past anything I thought I could. I'm lovin my classes so far, I have a media Class on Mass communication...Which is going to be AWESOME! It discusses Media and how it interprets things, pretty much why we do the things we do...Things like " Why do I need the backpack with JANSPORT on it instead of the one with SportLike on it? Why do I need a Hummer and not a Civic?" It's all something that interests me. Than I have a psychology class...Which is going to be nice! Not only is Rosa in there with me...But I already know a lot of what we are going to cover because in high school I took a class in which the teacher ROCKED and taught in the same style as a college Course...Note to self: Don't forget to email the old psych teacher and Thank him!

Good

Oasis
» Wonderwall

Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now

Backbeat the word was on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
I'm sure you've heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt
I don't believe that anybody feels
The way I do about you now

And all the roads we have to walk along are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
I don't know how

Because maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me?
And after all
You're my wonderwall

Today was gonna be the day
But they'll never throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you're not to do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
About you now

And all the roads that lead to you were winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
I don't know how

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me?
And after all
You're my wonderwall

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me?
And after an
You're my wonderwall

Said maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me

Tiki Mist

School starts tommorow, 7am. Enough said

Target Drama. Learn that, remeber it. That's going to be detailed onto my gravestone. Remember when I got all upset about that one lady getting the supervising job over me? Well she is now saying things behind my back...wich really hurts, not because I care what she says...but the fact that I've worked my hardest on being civil with her. I know what management is waiting for is me to snap and go off on her and my ass would be fired...but apparently she can go around saying everything about me and nothing will happen.

One to those things

So many things have happened in the past few weeks. Some good, Some bad. For the most part, life has taken it's course and surprised me with many things. One of these " things" being a new job offer with an ex-supervisor of mine. She called me up and told me she had 2 positions she needed to fill and that she would like for me to come down and apply. This of course making me feel great considering the last time I had seen her was months earlier and the fact that she kept me in mind made me believe in my work. After spending a small fortune on clothes to get the interview, I realized today that I'm not ready to leave Target. People have a funny way of suprising me. Yesterday, I being left in charge of the front lanes to supervise well the Team leads go out on a Team Outing, begin to wonder...Where is this all taking me? Sure I can have one snazy resume...But this store is taking advantage of me. I do a lot for Target. I am cross trained in almost every department on the front lanes and now clerical...So why am I not a team lead? About once or twice a day I have other Team leads coming up to tell me that I got " Jipped" When it came to the promotions... I know I did, But a part of me still beliefs that I didn't. I do work hard. I do know a lot about the store and it's team members. However, do I have what it takes to be a Leader? I have always been borderline team leader on everything I have done. In high school I was almost part of the Team leaders or tomorrow program...almost, I was almost in Leadership...almost and even at my last job, I was left in charge often, yet never promoted. So is it me? Or is it everybody else? Am I just destine to be borderline Leader? assistant to the great ones? Or even worse...Borderline good, jumping between horrible and helpful? This must be one of those things in life where it must play out to be told correctly.
More suprising things being my friends. ( She might kill me for this, yet I have this feeling like typing things out might make me figure my feelings out even further...So she'll get over it) So we all know the story and for those who don't here it is: Rosa and I met @ Target. I had been working there for not to long when She started. I know who she was because she also went to Elsie, the same high school as me. For one reason or another we started talking and I dragged her to a play one night, and ever since than, we've been like two fires in a fat man's hand(inseparable for you skinny people ) . We only ever had one or two arguments, not even worthy of being called fights for memory's sake, yet even than, we did everything together. I needed a haircut? Call Rosa, because she'll go too! Need to clean my car out? Call Rosa. She needs to get a doughnut? Call Collette! We finished each other's thoughts and often if not always could completely understand each other's garbled definitions of feelings. She graduated High school and So did I, and even though, not at the same time, we both felt the happiness that each other felt. And that's who we where. People know us by " Collette And Rosa" there was no other choice...Well maybe " Rosa and Collette" and sometimes ( Heath) but it was always us two. So why am I suddenly lost? That's what it feels like. Like I was in a coma at sometime and forgot all the little quirks that make her. I don't know where I'm going when I'm going to see her anymore. I know it's silly of me, but it's also very scary. It's not a dark feeling, rather a feeling of stun and amazement. Things we both say now are suprising to me now. I find the jeyoulsy spilling out in my words makes not only others sick, but myself. However, I do also see the side of Rosa to leave that makes me sad. She's no longer that shy, geeky, girl. She's grown beyond me and I don't always understand the things she says, or is feeling, because I myself haven't even experienced them. Love, boys and all things Poplular are what it seems I was never apart of. With her I was apart of NOT being apart of those people. Now she has her in and I'm standing at the door waving by to her childhood and looking my own in the face wondering when I might become one of the cool kids also? A self confessed shut in, and a geek hardcore, are what I still closely tie my name in with. And once more I have to ask myself, Why am I so damn lost when it comes to change? Why can't I except it for what it is and whom it has claimed? Am I just another lame girl who will live in the 90's forever? Will I begin to play the keyboard with my Cats? Start naming them Rosa, Heath and Wren? I don't want to start nitting little outfits for the Kitty puppet shows that I might one day produce quite yet, but I also don't want to be liquored up laying naked on a bar somewhere else. I just want to feel not so lost and like...I actually know where I'm going in life. I want to know that I haven't started to fall into that scary abyss that we like to call Dated and know that one day, I will become all that I need to be....Sane.

Public Service fucking Note!

There are some seriously twisted, fucked up, nasty people in this world. I never realized how close they where. I never realized how deceiving they could be. I never realized that I would be such a fool for their cruel jokes. I don't have tolerance for people who say rude/crude things to me...I have even less tolerance for people who intionaly harm others and people who hate others because the color of their skin. Sick comment's about children's color or ethnicity...Will get your Nazi ass kicked out of my car. Just take fucking note of that.

YoHoo and the Whale philosophy

There are very few places in America that you can take 20 min. Out of your day and make it out to the beach. Rosa and I did that today! Also an un-common thing is a friend who would be willing to go out into a semi crowded beach, and pass out on towels because you just kinda want a "Lil Nap". Beached wale comments aside, we where snozin out in Bodaga for a while and than drove our tired asses back to Santa Rosa...Where I believe not only myself took another nap. HEY! We're stocking up for the week of work ahead! I haven't had to work in three days and it's been beautiful. I can feel my senses coming about me again, and once more...I am slighty happy. God...I'm such a fatty because not only did Rosa buy me a very large breakfast this morning...I had a massive YoHoo and than some Canadian Water, and low and behold...I am Hungary again! Maybe I'll make my friend go with me to In & Out tonight! LOL, for once I am going to hang out with somebody other than Rosa on a Friday night...That's weird for me!

No more

Reading was always a passion of mine. So was family time and my nice random trips to the beach to take pictures. What happened to that? I got to busy and wrapped up in the madness of school and work. I'm so stupid! I ask why I'm so unhappy. It's as easy as that. I've been so damn depressed lately I can't even begin to describe it. It's a feeling that I've horribly screwed up somewhere or have already missed what chance I have to be happy. Noooo more mofo. I'm going to bed.

okay?

I miss the good ol days.

Sometimes

Sometimes I have songs that just play over and over in my head when I'm thinking about things. It's just something that helps me calm down and put things into perspective. Today...It's the Adams Family theme song. Let that tell you about my day okay?

Confusion!

I'm sooooo confused! So So So confused!

It's still late or early?

Two hours of sleep is all that I need. Well...apparently so! As Rosa mentioned, we didn't do much sleeping last nite, none at all to be excat. And after work I came home, napped for 2 hr and than here I am...Sitting online at 2:10am again. I don't know what it is...but I just can't sleep for the life of me. It's a medical issue...and if not...it might become one real soon. Did I ever mention that I don't want to go to work tommorow?