I would say it's depressing

I would say it's depressing reading my old journals...But that's really not the word I am looking for. On a scrambled, ripped paper shoved in the middle of March 20th, 2000 and June 1st, 2000 is a list a 16 year old Collette created. A list that mostly was created in vain...Slightly made in curiosity and hidden with deep fear of what the future held.
She writes a list of............Wants.
A list of what she wished the future to hold for her
what she wanted from the world she felt that owed her so much more than what had been given
A list that asks that she finds her happiness before she's 20,
find love in a different way than what she already know was possible
believe in what she thought she was
understand where she belongs
Live life in any other way than what she already was...

Is it depressing? No
Is it inspirational? Maybe
Is it confusing how I have lost that curiosity? Yes