Story of!

What do you do when you have been working for something for so long, and once you obtain it, you realize your worst fears are confirmed? It was the chase that you where after! It wasn't that nice plump zebra leg that you wanted, it was indeed the thrill of leaping, weaving, and gliding over the land that brought you your joy.

So many things that once had only been dreams of mine, are now in my grasp, truly ripe for the taking, but now...they seem almost spoiled and foul.

This is the problem of the constant loaner/chasing lioness. Rock/hard place.

Good news? Well, there isn't any.

187

There is something that not a lot of people tell you about weight loss. Here it is: There is no finish line. There are no cheering crowds of happy crying people, there is no makeover, there are no dramatic changes...one day your fat, and the next your not. It's not as fulfilling as your fat self has made it sound like it was. Instead, your alone, and wondering where your parade is.

When I was younger, I chose 185 lbs as my goal weight. It seemed so far away and impossible. I often tried to dream about what it would be like, failing to grasp reality, I thought it would be a little different then this. I'm happy still, and though there has been no " biggest looser" confetti in the air kind of moment, I am still going to keep going on the path I started.

Today, I weigh 187 lbs. A number that seems so small in comparison to the 315 lbs I used to carry. I often enjoy just rolling the numbers around in my head, sometimes whispering them to myself, hearing what impossibility sounds like.

-124 lbs

I weigh 191 lbs. I once weighed 315 lbs. Today...I'm proud of me. A very simple happiness.

-100

I finally put this together! I couldn't quite see the differences I have made in the past year and I know I still had this shirt, and it was time to see what I have achieved! Now I can't stop crying and I finally realize that I HAVE done SOO MUCH!

208

I weigh 208 lbs. Holy shit! When did that happen? How cool is that! 9 lbs away from being under 200! I can't wait to have a 1 in my weight again! Lol, again since...I was 9 lol

Lucky life

My new life... is beautiful! Bigfoot has spent the past two weeks trying to teach my how to snap my fingers. It's something I have always wanted to know how to do. The week before it was the farris wheel. Before that, it was shopping in a regular store, and before that, was to wear a dress. My life, is beautiful. I'm so happy I have the best friend in the entire world. He supports me every day, and compliments me endlessly. He made me the most amazing salad the other day and that's when I realized, I couldn't of done any of this without him. I'm so lucky!

27 lbs away

After many discussions with my friends, I have finally settled on a official goal weight: 185 lbs

Months ago, looking back at the numbers I used to carry, 185 seemed so far away. 3 months ago I was 30 lbs heavier and 57 lbs away from my goal and it didn't feel like I was EVER going to get closer to my dreams. This month, I can see the finish line! I'm soo close! When you have lost 100, 27 seems so silly and tiny! I have averaged -10 lbs a month for the past 6 months, so I'm guessing I will be to my goal weight by Halloween! OH MY GOD! TWO MONTHS! TWO MONTHS! Do you realize...that even if this takes 3 months...I will be...skinny? SKINNY!?

...What am I going to be for Halloween?

214

Weight loss update:
Last month I lost 11 lbs.
This month I would like to loose 30, but I'm going to keep it real with another 10. THIS MEANS...That in 5 months I will of lost 50 lbs if I keep up my medium to low level workouts and keeping eating...pretty good. So...well...what if I try harder? What if I work out every day? What if I go back to watching what I eat 100%?

Let's keep this simple! If I loose 10 lbs every month for the next 5 months that's 50 lbs and it would put me at a weight of 164 which for my 5'11 frame will be SKINNY! That leads me right up to new years eve! Are you ready? I'm positive I can do it!

I went from obese to overweight this week and it was AMAZING! I have all these mini hurdles I keep leaping over and I love making each one on the way to my GIANT hurdle which is... I weighed around 300 lbs! I've lost 28% of my body weight! I am 100 lbs lighter! I used to wear 3xl shirts and size 22 jeans! Today, I wear a size XL or L shirt, and I'm making my move into size 14 jeans! HOLY SHIT! Can you believe it? I can't. if it where not for my best friend Bigfoot who lets me talk about my weight all day every day, and remembers to tell me how good I'm looking! He is the main source of my strength! He keeps me balanced by being honest and telling me straight up. I have to remember to tell him that he is the one who has helped me make one of my life dreams come true. Remind me to do that!

I suck today

I'm coming to terms with things in my life.
1. I can not cook
2. My hair, will never be flowy and shiny
3. I will never have giant perky breasts
4. I can't make a sweat shirt and sweat pants look sexy
5. I will snort, and belly laugh and it will NOT be sexy
6. I'm a crocheting, overweight, fuzzy haired 24 year old single women.

I'm going to go over to my best friends house tonight, and I'm going to pout and putter around until I feel better. At least there, I know he will tell me my hair looks like crap, my food tastes awful and I look like a two bit whore. That's because that's what friends do! They tell you the truth and tell you that they love you anyway!

219-199

It's one of those self pity days. It's the perfect day to clean my room, get organized, feel sick, and watch netflix all night...alone. My stomach aches are coming back more and more often. I thought since my weight loss things where clearing up with my medical issues, but it seems they have only gotten worse. Maybe my doctors diagnosis was incorrect. Another reason to be excited about getting skinny is because when I go to the doctors they will no longer say " Well, because your obese..."

However...I'm stuck at 219 lbs. I go up .5 or .9 lbs a day and then back down the same amount the next. 219 is now a bad word to me. When days ago I was almost in tears to see the newest low numbers, I am now becoming disappointed. When will 219 become 215 or 210 even better, when will 219 become 200? When will I be 199?? Oh 199! I love you! I can't wait to be with you!